Remembering Tony

Suzanne Pledger-Miller

Date: Monday January 24, 2005 - 12:57PM
Name: Suzanne Pledger-Miller
Location: home
Comments: Dear Alex, I'm a friend of your Dad's and Harvey's from 20 years ago, in Austin Texas. I learned of his death this last weekend (1/05) and was completely speechless. I knew about you and your moms through my friend Jamie Tolbert. Although I had not seen your Dad in many years I always considered it a privlege to be in his company and be called "friend" by him. I had an occaision or two to eat at his table. Aside from the always delicious food, his charm and love made each meal especially delectable. I cannot believe I will not have the chance to dine with him again; I am certain he'll have something yummy waiting for us all when we get there(to heaven). Know that your Dad was such a good man and will be sorely missed. God's blessing's to you Alex. With big, huge, love, Suzanne Pledger-Miller

Carlo Alioto

Date: Saturday August 7, 2004 - 04:40PM
Name: Carlo Alioto
Location: Maui, Hawaii
Comments: Dear Tony,
I really loved working with you at WEBTV. I have always had good thoughts of you and always will. Be at peace my dear friend. Your friend Carlo.

Jamie

Date: Monday July 19, 2004 - 05:32PM
Name: Jamie
Location: Los Angeles
Comments: (a letter to Harvey, Paula, Cory, Alex and Chuck)... after my last and just so recent ago visit in April, I drove home so happy. So fulfilled, loved, respected, satisfied. I miss you all so much, and I just had no idea how badly I missed you till I finally got to come and see you, and have to leave again. You are vitamins my soul requires. Of course, the mega vitamin called Tony has gone missing to a new format I'll have to rediscover. But someone, something so powerfully wonderful is absolutely only hanging out in alternative form. And I will have my injection of him continually somehow. Because there has been no one else like him in my life. Tony's particular flavor of love is so absolutely quenching of my soul's thirst. He made it safe for me to be alive on this bald planet. He created safety and recognition and rightness in our time here. The thing he seemed to give to everyone. Rightness in being. Celebration.

So! I continue to celebrate us all, mostly you guys, mostly Tony. And I love you! More later!

Jamie

Larry Paterni & Len Gregg

Date: Saturday June 26, 2004 - 01:47PM
Name: Larry Paterni & Len Gregg
Location: Redford, Michigan
Comments: Our deepest sympathy...Tony was a wonderful person. Having known him so briefly - his humor and warmth will be greatly missed.

Larry and Len

Chris Braun

Date: Friday June 25, 2004 - 01:13PM
Name: Chris Braun
Location: San Francisco
Comments: “What are you up to Mary?” Tony would shout in a suspicious tone from some window above…

I was fortunate to share my first five years in SF living in the basement of 751 Haight. It was Tony that convinced me to move to the city when I was sloshed at a WebTV gathering, I didn’t know it, but this decision turned out to be life changing for the better. Here he shared his warm beautiful home, filled with his kind friends/family and cats, his over the top fabulous meals, nightly eclectic gatherings around a candle lit table, a smoke and chat on the back porch, his natural garden with hidden treasures such as Alice and wild clovers, the many projects and plethora of books, movies, music, and just plain stuff all of which he adored.

I didn’t recognize it right away, but Tony had a habit of taking people under his wing and always had an insight when it came to what was best for me and many others. He had a confidence in his stride, a witty fierceness about him, and a look which told you he knew what you were up to. He always had an honest view point, wouldn’t hesitate to say what he truly felt, saw through life’s bullshit, and convinced me to move beyond my comfort level which wasn’t as hard to do standing by his side. He loved to give me a hard time for a good laugh, got frustrated with my lack of what he considered to be just common knowledge of things, gave me some serious advice, took me to his favorite city haunts, TREATED me to see Bette Midler in concert and many other special moments. As always we had a good night on the town.

My pal and mentor is truly missed, he will never be forgotten.

… “YOOHOO Mary,” I’m home.

Chris

Mark K.

Date: Wednesday June 23, 2004 - 09:28PM
Name: Mark K.
Location: going to Maui
Comments: When I think of Tony, the picture that immediately comes to mind is his smiling scruffy face. That's a good way to be remembered.

I worked closely with Tony during my early days at WebTV. I remember walking between the Lytton and Alma buildings, with him wearing his black leather jacket, puffing on cigarettes--"Walk on this side so I can hear you," he'd say--and we'd chat about the crisis-du-jour, remember 6502?

Tony was very fond of the early customer care team at WebTV. I think he felt in someways like a big brother to many of them. Like a family, there would occasionally be squables, but they never seemed to last for long.

It had been a while since I'd last talked with Tony. Hearing about his decision was a shock, to be sure. But even in the end, his final wishes were not for family and friends to mourn his passing, but rather to have a party and celebrate his life. Here's to you, Tony!

Rose Braz

Date: Wednesday June 23, 2004 - 06:49PM
Name: Rose Braz
Location: Oakland, CA
Comments: I was so so sorry to hear of the loss of Tony. Every memory I have of Tony is a big, joyful, full of life one. Memories of gourmet meals on haight Street, that wonderful wedding so many years ago, Alex's birth....

I know how much everyone, especially Harvey, Paula, Cory and Alex, loved Tony and I can only imagine how much they and others will miss him. Even though I hadn't seen Tony in many years, I count myself among those who will miss him and all the joy he brought to everyone.

Sending you all much much love...rose

Rose Braz

Date: Wednesday June 23, 2004 - 06:49PM
Name: Rose Braz

Location: Oakland, CA
Comments: I was so so sorry to hear of the loss of Tony. Every memory I have of Tony is a big, joyful, full of life one. Memories of gourmet meals on haight Street, that wonderful wedding so many years ago, Alex's birth....

I know how much everyone, especially Harvey, Paula, Cory and Alex, loved Tony and I can only imagine how much they and others will miss him. Even though I hadn't seen Tony in many years, I count myself among those who will miss him and all the joy he brought to everyone.

Sending you all much much love...rose

Barbara Kaim

Date: Wednesday June 23, 2004 - 04:37PM
Name: Barbara Kaim
Location: Harare, Zimbabwe
Comments: Dearest Tony,

I haven't seen you for probably 10 years. But,whenever I've thought about my time in the Bay Area, and the beautiful people I still know there, I've always thought about you and Harvey, the good and generous people in Cory and Paula and Alex's life. You were the heart, the person who gave me the teddy bear hugs when I walked through your door on Christmas or Thanksgiving Day, glass of red wine in hand. How welcoming you were, ready to listen and laugh and, on one special occasion, cry with me as I struggled through the pain of dislocation, so far from my home.

I can't imagine returning to SF and not finding you at the door, arms outstretched, that mischevious twinkle in your eye.

You come from a special breed. I have always admired Harvey and his steadfastness. I trully love Cory and Paula, soul sisters from way back. I glow whenever I hear stories about Alex and, even from a distance, recognise that quality in him that is so particular to you all - his strength, his 'knowing' about the (in)justices of the world and his willingness to take life by the horns...

You had your pains and, in the end, they must have sunk deep. I ache for you in those moments. And for your family who love you so dearly. But we take courage in the brilliance of who you were - and the realness of your life.

Go well, dear brother. It's now our turn to 'teddybear hug' you. And a hug, as well, to H, C, P and A

From
Barbs and her two boys, Jonathan and Sam xxx

Sonya Trejo

Date: Wednesday June 23, 2004 - 02:06PM
Name: Sonya Trejo
Location: San Diego, CA
Comments:
I met Tony in late 1996 when I was trying to both work and finish my last semester of school. I couldn't believe my luck at having such a likeable supervisor at my first "real job." I thought the family he had, essentially a child with four loving parents, was incredible. I was thrilled every time I was invited to a party at his beautiful home.

When WebTV decided to send Customer Care folk to Las Vegas, Tony and I were sent together. I had never been to Las Vegas, and at that point in my life, had never spent more than $10 for a resturant meal. He put up with my lack of sophistication, and taught me how to eat a *real* resturant meal, "What no salad? And have the soup. Of course we'll have desert." I let him have the bottle of wine to himself. :)

Tony to me was a rich man, a man rich with a family, a home, good food, and good friends, and also a very generous, welcoming man. I'm sad to learn that he was suffering. I will miss him very much.

Beth Fox

Date: Tuesday June 22, 2004 - 12:13PM
Name: Beth Fox
Location: Bay Area
Homepage:
Comments: I met Tony while working at WebTV in 1997. It was at one of the first of many Production Meetings I was to attend. I was introduced to about 20 people (at least 10 being from Customer Care) so, naturally, I forgot all of their names. For some reason, as the mind tends to play funny tricks on one, I had Tony mixed up with someone else. That "someone else" was not a very pleasant person. So when I mistakenly called Tony by that other person's name, he let me know, in no uncertain terms, that he was NOT that nasty person! ;-) How dare I get him mixed up with that other person! Needless to say I never forgot Tony's name after that ;-)

I remember the first party I attended at Tony and Harvey's house at 751 Haight Street. I absolutely hated driving up to the city -- I rarely drove up there -- maybe to go to Fisherman's Wharf when I had out of town visitors or across the bridge to Sausalito for sightseeing. I ALWAYS had panic attacks driving up to the city and this time was no exception. Finding parking near the house on a Friday night was a nightmare. After 45 minutes of cruising around, I was close to calling Tony on my cell and telling him I was going to call it a night and go home. "How do people live up here?" I screamed, so that anyone within a 5 block radius could hear. Well, I finally found parking about 10 blocks away in a not so good part of town. I was sure that I would be murdered before I reached Tony and Harvey's place. But I made it to the house. I knocked on the door. Tony opened the door and with a huge smile said, "Hi doll, I'm so glad you made it. What would you like to drink?" It was at that moment that I knew I had found my 2nd home.......a smile, a big hug, a kiss and a cocktail....life doesn't get any better!!

Throughout the years, there were many parties and many dinners. All of them were special in their own way. All of them brought together people from different backgrounds and walks of life to be embraced by the warmth and love Tony and Harvey showered on them.

But my fondest memories of Tony are the times that weren't tremendously exciting. The time Tony MADE me watch The Rose with Bette Midler because.... OMG, I had never seen it! Sitting in my living room, crocheting and eating PB&J sandwiches and just talking. The long phone conversations where he was always willing to share his wisdom about love, career and the importance of having at least one pair of conservative black pumps! And the times I would come up to stay with him because I needed some TLC -- he would cook for me, we'd take long walks, play racquetball at GG park, watch movies and sleep in on a Sunday morning.

Tony was my Chicken Soup.

Sally-Anne Lomas

Date: Tuesday June 22, 2004 - 09:54AM
Location: Norwich, England
Comments: I am an old school friend of Paula's and I didn't know Tony well but he
always felt like family because of his connection to Paula, Cory and Alex.

The last time I saw Tony was at our 40th birthday reunion in San Fran. It
was great that Tony was there because it meant I was able to share an
illicit ciggarette out in the courtyard when it seemed like nobody in the
USA smoked anymore. For me he will always be this big, smiling, generous,
funny man who I shared a private moment with, outside in the night air
blowing smoke and looking at the stars.

With much love to Tony's family and friends,

Sally-Anne (Lomas)
Norwich, England
21st June 2004